Diagnosis: Afterparty

Just had my first pre-chemotherapy chat with my nurse practitioner. I feel like the only person in the world who’s been this excited for chemo- let’s get this party started and get this stuff shrinking- I start tomorrow at 9am! We went over the cocktail of drugs I’ll be getting bi-weekly for the next 24 weeks & their side effects, all of which I kind of already knew about, none of which I’m scared about. Of course, I already have a color-coded spreadsheet prepared and ready to track every symptom.

The wildest side effect is that cold things will become painful. I won’t want to touch anything in the fridge or drink cold water. Don’t threaten me with a room temperature good time, I already hate the cold and love drinking lukewarm water! It’s possible I might experience hair thinning or hair loss, but I’ve never fully been attached to my hair anyway; the color, length, bangs or not- it’s ever changing and doesn’t mean much to me. Besides, half my friends are drag queens with catalogs of wigs.

I am never going to ask, “Why me?” I will never be that person. It’s almost like why NOT me, I’m the strongest person I know. Perhaps a fool for having this much enthusiasm for chemotherapy (let’s revisit this mentality in 24 hours), but strong, nonetheless.

I am ready to defy death. Cancer is a bitch, but so am I.

And for a full circle moment, if you’re not familiar with RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9, please watch Sasha Velour take the crown by losing her hair: