Diagnosis: Afterparty

Every Friday, one of my favorite podcasters/sports & wellness journalists, Emily Abbate, sends out a weekly newsletter. I quickly mentioned her and her podcast Hurdle in one of my earlier entries because her words tend to stretch far beyond running or sports. But today’s newsletter really stopped me in my tracks. It captured my relationship to this cancer experience in a way I haven’t quite been able to put into words myself- even though the entire thing is about running.

There’s something poetic about how these lessons you learn from running- simply putting one foot in front of the other- translate so seamlessly into everyday life. (For more on that, also check out Nike Run Coach Chris Bennett. I’m counting down the days until his book “This Is About Running. This Is Not About Running” drops in September).

For those of you who constantly complement me on how I’m handling cancer, this weekl’s edition of the Hurdle newsletter does an excellent job at summarizing my mindset and the thought process I subconciously subscribe to. So I figured I’d add it here, not only to perhaps help someone else out there dealing with heaviness in life, but also to immortalize this for future me who will be reading this blog to remember. And in a full circle twist, Emily writes about the very race I had planned to run this year, the Brooklyn Half Marathon, before my diagnosis.

Without further ado, I present to you, this week’s edition of Emily Abbate’s Weekly Hurdle:

“Last weekend, I did something I haven’t done in over a decade: I lined up at the start line of the Brooklyn Half. The last time I ran this race, I was a completely different runner, and honestly, a different version of me. Ten years living in New York will do that to you. I couldn’t help but be super nostalgic during the 13.1-mile trip from Prospect Park to Coney Island. I also had one mission and one mission only: Don’t push it too hard; meet yourself where you’re at right now.

For context: It was a hot day. In the past, a shift in conditions like this might have thrown me into a spiral of frustration. But standing out there last weekend, a familiar truth anchored me: This is how it is now. Not necessarily how I wanted it to be. Different than the chill we were running in three weeks ago. Just this.

Among the many, many lessons that running has taught me over the years, this is probably one of the most valuable: When we stop fighting the reality of the situation, we free up a massive amount of energy to actually deal with what’s in front of us. In this instance: I can’t control the weather. I can, however, control how I show up underneath it. In life, I can exercise a boundary, but I can’t control how a friend reacts to it. I can’t force a company to up their rate on a project, but I can alter the deliverables that work for me. I can’t make him call me back (IYKYK), but I can choose what to do if he doesn’t.

You get the picture.

So, how do we actually practice letting go of the uncontrollable when the “heat” is on? Here’s what works for me when I need to pivot in real-time:

1. Acknowledge the Shift (Without Judgement)

The moment you realize things aren’t going to plan, name it. Tell yourself, “Okay, it is hot today,” or “This project timeline just changed.” Don’t waste energy complaining about why it’s happening or wishing it were different. Simply accept the new baseline.

2. Focus on the Immediate Micro-Decision

When the big picture feels overwhelming or uncomfortable, shrink your world. Don’t worry about mile 11 when you’re at mile 6. Ask yourself: What is the best choice I can make right now, in the next five minutes, to take care of myself? Maybe it’s taking an extra cup of water at the hydration station, adjusting your pace, or taking a deep breath before answering an email.

3. Change Your Performance Metrics

If the environment changes, your definition of success has to change, too. On a perfect, crisp autumn morning, success might look like a specific time on the clock. On a hot May morning in Brooklyn, success looks like grit, smart pacing, and crossing the finish line with a smile. Lean into the intrinsic win.

4. Lean Into the Joy of the Present

Despite the heat, last weekend was so much fun. Why? Because I chose to look around at the incredible energy of the crowds, the community, and the sheer joy of being back on that course after ten years. When you let go of the uncontrollable, you finally have the bandwidth to enjoy what’s actually good about the moment you’re in.

The next time you find yourself up against a situation that feels heavy, hot, or frustrating, take a beat. Remind yourself:

It can be hard, and it can be doable. Both can exist at the exact same time.

How are you letting go of the uncontrollable this week? Hit the comment button and let me know. We get to get through the “hot days” together.

Keep hurdling.”