Diagnosis: Afterparty

Sorry for keeping you waiting, I did in fact get my latest PET scan results back this past Sunday & enjoyed the rest of the long weekend basking in the great news. And after overanalyzing the difference in both size and metabolic activity, life began to life, and I got distracted from updating here. Which is probably a good sign that I didn’t feel immediately compelled to write a blog entry; these things only feel urgently therapeutic when I need to process bad news.

And unfortunately for this blog, I have zero bad news to report! The scans showed a major response to chemotherapy: the largest liver metastasis shrank by nearly 40% in its largest dimension, while smaller liver lesions shrank by more than 50%. Even more striking, metabolic activity dropped by roughly 50% in the liver lesions and nearly 70% in the primary colon tumor; a sign that the cancer is not just shrinking but becoming far less active biologically. Some of the liver lesions are now calcifying, which can indicate tumor necrosis and treatment effect, and there is still no evidence of cancer spreading anywhere else in my body. My CEA tumor marker also remains undetectable, continuing to point in the same direction: I took the drugs and the drugs are working, and working well.

So what’s next?

I have appointments with both my oncologist, and my second opinion oncologist within the next two weeks, and we’ll see what they say- and if they agree or have different plans- and go from there! If one of them so much as remotely mentions the word surgery (again, the only path to curative treatment) this soon, I will absolutely break down in tears. But I’ll likely wrap up these 12 rounds of chemotherapy before anything else happens. We shall see!

As for side effects, things are getting wild over here! And not in the fatiguey/nauseated way. (Although I did get sick last night for only the second time since chemo started, which still feels noteworthy considering we are fully in Round 8. I remain insanely lucky that this is nowhere close to an everyday occurrence.) I’ve finally had to start taking some of the anti-nausea meds originally prescribed to me, like actually taking 1–2 a day for the first few days after infusion. Mind you, I’m allowed to take them every 4 hours, so honestly, still winning there too. Ginger candy is also beginning to enter the rotation a little more often.

But the real headline is that chemo has officially won the war against my estrogen levels, and I am now in chemo-induced menopause. The funniest part is that I had just bought a new box of tampons, which feels very similar to when I totaled my car in my 20s and my biggest concern was that I had just gotten new windshield wipers. So only time will tell whether I’ll need them again after all this is over.

But until then, I think I’m the only person on earth enjoying chronic hot flashes. I’ve always run cold, and the oxaliplatin-induced cold sensitivity in my fingers and toes was starting to make the cold unbearable. So suddenly existing at a slightly warmer baseline has honestly felt incredible. Not having to wear two pairs of socks and slippers and even going barefoot at home one day last week, has felt like a genuine milestone. So what if I’m a little sweaty for two minutes every now and then? I’ve accepted my destiny as a pleasantly warm cryptid who’s loving every minute of menopause.

I wish I had more news to update, but I don’t even have a deep thought this week. Other than beautiful first scans, enjoying warmer body temperatures, gearing up (literally buying gear) to be able to sit in the sun by the pool this summer, continually running, and prepping for Pride month, and impateintly waiting for Beyonce to drop Act III, it couldn’t be going better over here . I may have overbooked myself for DC & Baltimore Pride, but having missed it last year for our wedding, it’s going to take a lot more than cancer to keep me from enjoying every moment. Plus, I’ll have my clack fan at the ready for any hot flashes!